When getting married, both spouses bring traditions, history and connections from their families, but the difficulty is getting to the "we" part of marriage. 

"No matter how long you’ve been married, it is never too late to take an honest look at this," Jim Krupka, deacon of Saint Francis Catholic Church in Traverse City, said in the Sept. 27 bulletin. "As we enter marriage, our starting place is what we bring from our families. We bring great histories and warm connections. We bring support systems that are treasures. 

“Marriages that openly treasure where each spouse came from are lovely. But what we bring to marriage is just the beginning. After that, we make 'couple' history. The challenge is to take the reality of where each came from and get to a 'we' point."

The "we" point of marriage indicates spouses are living God's promise of becoming one.

"In marriage we need to make our spouse No. 1 as we become one," Krupka said. "As obvious as this sounds, it does not always happen ... Taken to the extreme, a spouse can become an accessory rather than a member of two made one. By accessory, I mean a source of lifestyle or financial well-being or physical pleasure, but not the primary life partner. Sooner or later, the spouse living in second place will disengage."